The Present Day Dorian Gray: Ugly Truths about Social Media & Peer Pressure
The Picture of Dorian Gray is a novel written by Oscar Wilde in 1891 where the lead character, Dorian Gray, has an enchanted portrait that captures all his misdeeds and portrays them as age and disfigurement. Dorian doesn’t show any of these signs personally, nor does he feel regret for his poor decisions; the painting bears those burdens.
Dorian’s mythical portrait has become a reality in modern-day with social media but with the opposite effect. We use social media to give the perception of beauty rather than sharing the often marred and messy lifestyles we live; this is not a new phenomenon. “Keeping up with the Joneses” idiom was introduced over a century ago, the Kardashian’s have continued the tradition of materialistic excess and manufactured beauty. The narcissistic vanity which Oscar Wilde based Gray’s character is still alive and exponentially more powerful.
The advent of social media has allowed previously unnoticed aspects of our lives (i.e., vacations, events, & milestones) to be in full public view and judged by the masses. Our reaction to other’s judgment is often tragic; social pressure creates a vacuum of ridicule that doesn’t allow us to live our fullest lives. We live the lives that our friends and family believe to be a loose definition of best. It’s a vicious cycle because everyone is trying to please or impress everyone else.
The outside influences are always pouring in upon us, and we are always obeying their orders and accepting their verdicts. — Mark Twain
I champion the person who walks their path with vigorous disregard for other’s perceptions. I’m not talking about the adolescent who tries to oppose the status quo for that sake alone. It’s the person who finds more value in their passions than the judgment of their contemporaries that I hold in high esteem.
You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit. ― Oscar Wilde
The “sins” that Wilde is speaking about in the above quote can be seen at face value or as the negative perceptions of a humanity that doesn’t accept an individual’s definition of life. Some say that this type of person isn’t thinking clearly or is not rational. But that’s what society does with things and people who are different; it disowns it but in some instances ironically romanticizes it. There’s a romantic perception of a person who throws caution to the wind, letting go of the illusory acceptance of society and disdain for that same person having the audacity to challenge the status quo.
First of all, I know it’s all people like you. And that’s what’s so scary. Individually you don’t know what you’re doing collectively. ― Dave Eggers
The collective narcissism of societal judgment is a form of self-righteous suicide; no one can live up to those unrealistic standards of perfection. It wasn’t Dorian Gray’s portrait that was the dilemma; it was the authority he gave it. It’s the dominion we surrender to other’s perceptions over our decisions that cause the demise of our dreams.
Follow your aspirations with unbridled passions; life is beautiful without societally imposed limitations. We are not the perfectly curated profile pictures we post; we’re much more dynamic and exquisite than that. Short-changing the person behind that mask of conformity doesn’t make you virtuous; it makes you a puppet in the performance of life that you’re not fully living.
You don’t have to be the living embodiment of Dorian Gray, but realize what you want in this life. Accept the consequences of not being fully understood and appreciate a path you’ve decided on rather than the portrait of success sold to the masses.
